41 Election Reactions by Joss Whedon's Characters

If you are a fan of the man called Joss, then it is no surprise to you that he is not to thrilled with the results of the 2016 election. Luckily, he is back on twitter these days with words of despair and inspiration that we love him for so much.

Trump's enemies list is the school musical all over again - my stomach is in knots cuz when they post it i just KNOW i won't see my name

— Joss Whedon (@joss) November 12, 2016

I (Polar) found myself turning to Firefly these days for comfort and hope because, honesty, if I managed to smile again after the whole "leaf on the wind" and what followed scene, then I may survive what's ahead.

So anyway... Here is

41 Election Reactions by Joss Whedon's Characters

(These were hard to find because Joss's characters so rarely experience pain and despair)

The "OMG, did this really just happen?!?!?!" reaction



The "I am terrified but I am too macho to run out of the room screaming" reaction



The "I am definitely not ashamed to run out of the room screaming" reaction



The "I drowned my sorrows on Tuesday night hoping to wake up on Wednesday in an alternate universe" reaction



The "He won but not by popular vote" reaction



The "See you. I will spend the next 4 years in a k-hole" reaction



The "He said he wants to build a wall! You heard he was planning to build an actual wall and you thought it was a good idea???" reaction



The "Oh fuck, we are all gonna die" reaction



The "Oh gawd, please let this be a bad trip" reaction



The "I am totally defeated and plan to literally not leave my house for the next 4 years" reaction



The "I don't think I will ever stop crying" reaction



The "Shit, I think I will just panic. Yeah, panic seems like a good idea right now" reaction



The "No more pictures of Obama's dogs?" reaction



The "I plan to be very drunk from now and until 2020" reaction



The "I am a tough bitch and I never cry but y'all broke me today" reaction



The "I take it back when I said I don't care who wins and I just want this nightmare to be over. I want to go back to Monday when this new nightmare hasn't started yet" reaction



The "I have a terminal disease and I may die before this over so yeah thanks for that you assholes!" reaction



The "It will be so embarrassing to be a cis white man for the next 4 years" reaction



The "I don't believe in the supernatural but seriously is this some sort of an alternate reality?" reaction



The "Bernie? I need Bernie to speak and make me feel like there is hope! BERNIEEEEE!" reaction



The "Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, please let us come and live with you! Please!!!!" reaction



The "Mike Pence is the new VP now" reaction



The "Oh gawd... And Melania is the first lady..." reaction



The "My city finally started recycling and now we have a president who thinks climate change is a hoax" reaction



The "If I am that pissed and I am white, I can't even imagine what people of color must feel like right now" reaction



The "Oh Mike pence thinks he can convert the gays through "therapy" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" reaction



The "Oh great, Giuliani is gonna be speaker of the house or something now..." reaction



The "After Obama??? AFTER OBAMA???" reaction



The "Maybe we should try an exorcism instead of swearing him in and if his head turns 360 degrees, then we can call these results null and void?" reaction



The "It's gonna be awesome to be speaking about women's issues in the upcoming future" reaction



The "I totally thought that all the jokes about his tiny hands would sway the vote in Hillary's favor!" reaction



The "Women voted for a guy accused of sexual assault. What are you crazy?" reaction



The "But the polls and the media assured us there is no way this would happen!" reaction



The "They got the House and Senate majority too?!?!?!" reaction



The "Oh goddamit, The freaking creationist ghoul Ben Carson is back in my life?" reaction



The "There is gonna be no more Biden & Obama memes" reaction



The "Instead we will have Trump & Pence memes" reaction



The "I may have to stop having sex because I get my birth control from Planned Parenthood and they are gonna be the first to go" reaction



The "What's gonna happen to @flotus and @potus twitter handles?" reaction



The "This is the end. Smoke 'em if you got 'em" reaction



And lastly, if you happen to live in one of the states that just legalized marijuana
The "I plan on spending the next 4 years blazed outta my mind" reaction



Hope this brought a smile to your face. Oh and Joss, seriously, a Doctor Horrible sequel would probably make everyone feel better. It could be about how Captain Hammer bullied his way to become the head of the Evil League of Evil. Just sayin...

How Not To Hit On Women At The Bar

polar: Last night lolo and I went to the opera. My friend J, who is some kind of a boss on the production team for Boston Lyric Opera, hooked us up with tickets.

By the way, The show - Bizet's "Carmen" - was fantastic and probably my favorite out of everything I have seen from BLO over the past few years.

Afterwards, we wanted to meet with J and catch up and thank him for the tickets. He was tied up in a production meeting, and so we waited by the back stage door, ogling all the actors.

lolo: They were very oglible. Ooglble? Whatever, they were cute.

polar: Finally we decide we would enjoy waiting for J that much more at a neighborhood bar, so we walked to The Tam. The Tam, if you aren't familiar, is the last remaining true dive bar in the otherwise glamorous theater district, complete with $3 Rolling Rocks and a game of Buck Hunter.

lolo: Also, you can bring pizza slices the size of your head from the place next door inside, which we did.

polar: So lolo and grab our whiskeys and sit at a table, deeply ensconced in conversation. We reiterate to each other that this is a work night and we are not to get shitfaced. We are here for one drink and to wait for J.

lolo: Definitely just one drink.

polar: However, two women enjoying each other's company is basically an abomination in this city, so in about five minutes we end up with two dudes trying to chat us up.

lolo: Actually, one of these dudes started chatting us up on our way INTO the bar before the door guy had even finished carding us. In retrospect, it was like he was trying to claim us before any other dudes inside could. Yeech.

polar: The story that follows will show their hilarious downfall. Before you get all upset, let me tell you - these dudes were awful. I am not here to bash people who try to manufacture a human connection out of thin air with a stranger in a bar. It takes a lot of guts and courage to come up to a person and start a conversation.

lolo: Right. I mean, I frequently point out to polar how antisocial bars in Boston can be. I appreciate it when people are friendly and chatty. Just the other night polar and I met an awesome couple at Park Street, and ended up exchanging contact info and hugging goodbye. We like people. We really do.

polar: Well, lolo likes people. I just kinda tolerate them more after a strong alcoholic infusion. Aaaaanywaaay... Where I am going with this is (all people hating aside) these dudes were fucking terrible! Like -- ask you a question and then interrupt you when you are answering it with a "you are so beautiful" -- kind of terrible. We tell them we are waiting for a friend, they don't go away.

lolo: Several more awkward minutes into this disaster, I literally stop the guy and tell him he is doing it all wrong, and I offer him a do-over.

polar: Yeah, I tell him he can get up, walk away, and come back to try again and we will pretend it's the first time he came to the table. No dice, he's not even listening. lolo and I are close to being openly rude (which, by the way, takes a lot since lolo is from the Midwest and therefore allergic to being rude). They STILL don't go away.

lolo: They insist on getting us another round, even though we tell them we don't want any more drinks. They get it anyway. There goes our one drink promise.... sigh.

polar: And then, right at the moment that they return with our drinks, J enters.

Now here is a quick description of J. He is like 6'4", conventionally attractive, one of these classically built dudes with the whole upside down triangle broad shoulder thing going on, ink, studded ears, and recently he bought a bike. Years ago we dated but somehow managed to not fuck up the friendship in the breakup so now we can hang together and it's not weird.

So here enters J.

lolo: It's important to be able to picture this appropriately. J strides in wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket, carrying a helmet, looking like exactly the kind of dude our suitors would be TERRIFIED of. J isn't trying to be macho or anything, he's just walking over and then sitting down, and he's still these guys' worst nightmare. One of the dudes immediately stands up and starts choking on his own words. I think he was half introducing himself and half apologizing?

polar: It was probably the most amazing entrance I've ever seen. As soon as J was at our table, one could read on the dudes' faces "Fuuuuuck! We can't compete with this..." and then they dematerialized. So now lolo and I had drinks we didn't pay for AND we didn't have to endure any more of the company of the aspiring pickup masters.

lolo: We are laughing and trying to explain to J what he managed to do for us.

polar: I told him he was like The Fonz.

lolo: Yeah, but if the Fonz was ACTUALLY cool.

polar: So what's the moral of this story? The moral of the story is to listen when you are trying to pick up women in a bar.

lolo: If they tell you you are doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong.

polar: And if they are telling you they got a friend coming, then they probably have a friend coming. And he is probably more awesome than you.

Pictured: polar leaving the bar on J's bike. 
Totally not pictured: Those dudes, thank god.

We are eating Montreal. All of it. #blog #food #beets #tomato #nom #travel #montreal #cafe #summer #canada

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Montreal we are coming for you!!! #blog

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Prague Wrap Up - more food, more drinks but we did manage to squeeze in a museum

What's the best way to get people to come to the museum of Czech Cubism? Operate an awesome restaurant in the same building. Grand Cafe Orient sports one of the most breathtaking dining rooms one could have the pleasure of having breakfast in. It's so airy and beautiful that somehow eating a two thousand calorie breakfast seems like a light-hearted affair in there. Perhaps it's because everything in this dining room looks like a Renoir painting and therefore the food must not be real either. It is though and it is delicious.

A breakfast like this is pretty poetic and of course we want a bit of "culture" after our meal so we head to the House of The Black Madonna aka Museum of Czech Cubism which is located in the same building. Note for future travelers - a museum ticket gets you a discount at the cafe so perhaps we were supposed to do the museum first. Silly glutenous baes didn't know any better.

The museum is comprised of mostly furniture which weirdly seems an appropriate type of art to look at for two women stuffed to the brim with whipped cream, crepes and ice cream. Somehow filled with this concoction I feel a bit unworthy of appreciating fine art so furniture will do.

We wonder around inevitably imagining cubist furniture in our apartments and take obligatory art deco staircase pictures.

We leave the museum with a clear intention to take a break from eating but Prague is a tricky city. One unassuming turn and we end up in one of Prague's magical courtyards. This one is particularly quiet and pastel. I kinda feel like maybe we ended up inside one of these old-fashioned hat boxes that are filled with tissue paper and ribbons and have a faint smell of lilacs and lavender. The sounds of the busy tourist-infested city become muffled and time slows down. Everything is quiet and pretty and invites you to take a seat and rest for a bit. 

We order the Czech version of an iced coffee which is basically ice cream and park our tired asses down there for hours. After all, looking at cubist furniture is exhausting! :)

After hours in the cake-like courtyard, it's time to move on. One more visit to Old Town Square is in order where I am reminded that lolo is an amazing photographer.

I wonder if this city is ever not crowded. Prague is one of the top tourist destinations in the world and for great reasons - it's gorgeous, it's delicious, and it's pretty cheap because the currency conversion works in almost everyone's favor. I can definitely see why a ton of Europeans choose Prague as a weekend getaway. The city center is filled with places like this

that somehow make me doubt the "authenticity" of the dining experience. We did manage to find one spot that I am fairly certain was a local gem. Near our hotel was a little wine bar - a store front of some tiny family vineyard -  where one could go and purchase wine by the glass or by the liter if you wanted to take a jug home with you. It's kind of like going to Starbucks with your own tumbler but for wine. This place was a hole in the wall and not a single person there spoke English but the wine was delicious and cost next to nothing. 

lolo is making me giggle because she is upset about having to leave Prague tomorrow. Our next stop is Amsterdam and she has never been. We will trade the city where all buildings look like wedding cakes to a city where all buildings look like gingerbread houses and I can't wait! 

Before we leave we start a new tradition. In the beginning of our trip i got us a couple of Kinder Surprise eggs that came with little toys inside. We decide to leave a little new bae-habitant in each new place we stay.

Oh, the things this little guy will see in the Love Room...